Dark Shadow

http://c300221.r21.cf1.rackcdn.com/fear-by-akirakirai-on-deviantart-1365277962_b.jpg

You enfold me in shadow sucking out the soul of me.

I strive to excel in your eyes, to let my spirit free.

You see no good where I stand.Only what hate  shows you.

You laugh at my efforts and criticize all I do.

 

Tell me I am obsessed and addicted  shout and bluster all you wish.

I have seen and heard  it all before, it is as predicted.

The tatters of my life like the rags clothing an old doll.

My soul has words yearning to be heard to make me whole.

 

That is why I write so these words can be free as a bird.

Why do you need to put me down,

Cast those looks at me and frown.

I spend no more time on my writing

Then you do when you are out doing your own thing.

 

My words need escape they need to sing.

You can scorn and chide me all you will,

Sap my strength exhaust me make me ill.

I shall write and I shall grow.

 

That which is inside me, is what I need to show.

Every time I have found an interest you find ways to set the blight in.

Too many times I have just given in

But no, not this time. I shall, endeavour to ignore your snipes

I shall use this gift and I shall earn my stripes.

 

But this means so much to me now I can’t let you win.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is an old poem  from  November 2011 slightly  reworked. 

Author: willowdot21

Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.

27 thoughts on “Dark Shadow”

  1. Ummm, I’m glad this was an old post. I was afraid you might be feeling squished. Well written Willow, very emotive and sharp. Thank You.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pennsivity

✨Epicseekerblog, ever seeking answers to questions newly formed in Poems ‘n Stuff, ✨

New2Writing

KL CALEY

luna's on line

Writing and Stuff by Chris Hall - Storyteller and Accidental Blogger

Writing to be Read

Authors' Blog - Book Reviews, Author Profiles and Reflections on Writing

Second Wind Leisure Perspectives

Fun, Fitness & Photography

glyn40wilton

A mixed bag

Pacific Paratrooper

This WordPress.com site is Pacific War era information

A Teacher's Reflections

Thirty Years of Wonder

Butterfly Sand

Curiosity run amok . . .

Laura McHarrie @ The Hidden Edge

Another Way of Looking at Your Business

Shan Jeniah's Lovely Chaos

Finding Yessings and Blessings in Lifes Messings!

Gypsie’s Wonderful World of Words

Poetry, Flash Fiction, Stories, Musings, Photos

But I Smile Anyway...

Musings and memories, words and wisdom... of a working family woman

Ella Craig

Write here, write now.

Gary A Wilson Stories

A Dime of Time: Mostly 10 Minute Stories, Fiction and Memoirs

Therapy Bits

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex ptsd

LADY LEWIS

...what Lady A Lewis thinks about it...

No Facilities

Random thoughts, life lessons, hopes and dreams

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

theindieshe

The independent she who loves life

365 And Counting

there's plenty more where the first year came from

Ruth Blogs Here

Or not, depending on my mood

Expert In Managing Data Using Excel, Word, PDF

I am with 12 years of experience and ready to achieve any type of works such as, converting any form from JPG, PDF, ...etc into Excel,Word, PowerPoint and other editable forms, In addition to having a deep experience in inserting and managing data

The Art of M.

Life & The Artistic Creations of M. Snyder

France & Vincent

Writing Magic, Myth and Mystery

Sun in Gemini

SteveTanham - writing, mysticism, photography, poetry, friends

Hot Dogs and Marmalade

Salty like hot dogs (and tears). Sweet like marmalade (and life).

Two on a Rant

Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.

Ivor.Plumber/Poet

An Old Plumber, An Ex-Carer, An Amateur Poet, Words From The Heart

Trent's World (the Blog)

Random Ramblings and Reviews from Trent P. McDonald

Shelley Wilson Author

Multi-Genre Author of YA Fantasy and Non-Fiction Self-Help

Marsha Ingrao - Always Write

Having fun blogging with friends

Caramel

Learner at Love

Chel Owens

A Wife, My Verse, and Every Little Thing

Silver Moon Cove

Sacred Soulsongs

%d bloggers like this: