Stuck , running in the mud.

Hello everyone , note I am not  bothering with the Italics  because I shall lapse,  at  some point ,  back into normal New Roman  so lets  start as I mean to continue.

Sorry I am still finding it hard to write and apart  from that lurking dog  in the corner  there I do not know why. There are a thousand  feelings  and fears screaming to get out of  my head  but they are trapped, trapped and locked in! I am ploughing  through  your posts and comments  trying at least to keep up and keep abreast of the buzz in the hopes that  my block and darkness will lift,

I am annoyed with myself  because there is so much good in my life right now that I should be grateful for and busting with joy . Sadly  the fact is I am not  and with my poetry  not even willing to help me I feel bereft. I am trying not to be on the laptop in my husbands pressence  right now as he seems to think it is sapping  my sanity… the truth is totally  the reverse!  But  hey ho  what  do I know.

 

I am looking out of  the kitchen window  it is 7.50am  and the sun is out and it it looks like it might  be a dry and warm day, a rare thing at  the moment. It is 1st of June  and even last night we had to have the heating on! Later  this morning  we are going over to visit  the Newbie  and his mum and dad  as  their  third wedding annaversary is  this comming week. We have  bought  them crystal glass as tradition demands, for  3rd  anniversary. I found  some beautiful  champagne  saucers which  have tiny Swarovski crystal elements used in  the pattern looking for all the world  like tiny  diamond stars in orbit!. Well I love  them  and they  came in a lovely  black  box  how  could I resist. My  husband  the much  more practical  one  brought our  son  a 1050Watt  all sing  all dancing  impact  power drill…. very  romantic  not … but  all the same  very useful  and I am sure it will be well used!!

Well that was about 30hrs ago  and still I am finding it so hard  to write, it hurts not  to write, not to express myself. I do not  even feel like answering  my  emails and usually I love  to keep in touch  with my friends.

Bare with  me I will be be back, after all I have Little Mae and all her friends  hanging on for me to rescue them!  I think  the Kate  Bush  singing  Running  up  that  hill, expresses  the feeling of  treading  water  and being bogged down in saddness. I think there is light at  the end of the tunnel.

 

 

 

 

40 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LindaGHill
    Jun 02, 2014 @ 21:18:11

    Hang in there, Willow. And write if you want to write! It’s the best way to hang on to sanity, in my experience anyway.

    Reply

  2. Deborah
    Jun 02, 2014 @ 21:54:52

    I don’t like what you’re going through, but I “liked” the post because, sadly, I feel less alone to know that these feelings I’m having aren’t something that is so odd after all. I haven’t posted on my blog in over two weeks. I have gotten my work done–I’m a responsible girl, I always get my work done.–but I can’t find the motivation or the joy to do anything for me. I, too, have a life that has lots of good in it, and as the hectic pace of the last few months is about to give way to a little less pressure, I had hoped that I would feel free to pursue the things that I have had to desert in the past few weeks/months. I, too, want to believe in that light at the end of the tunnel. I hope we both find it–and soon. 🙂

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 03, 2014 @ 15:57:31

      I think it always helps, Deborah when we realize we are not alone. Not the only ones feeling low and wretched take heart we will win through the sun will return and clam will prevail in our lives. xxxxxxxxxxxx

      Reply

  3. Lisa
    Jun 02, 2014 @ 22:36:26

    💖

    Reply

  4. russtowne
    Jun 02, 2014 @ 22:40:37

    You are being thought of, Linda. Best wishes to you during this time and all times.
    Russ

    Reply

  5. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister
    Jun 03, 2014 @ 01:43:35

    Just seeing this post makes me smile. Willow, you inspire me. I understand the need to release emotion through writing… hugs! xxx

    Reply

  6. Eric Alagan
    Jun 03, 2014 @ 01:57:00

    Sending you loving thoughts and prayers, Willow.

    Peace,
    Eric

    Reply

  7. socialbridge
    Jun 03, 2014 @ 08:29:44

    Maybe you should just abandon trying to respond to anyone except you! I hope time with nature will help unlock the fears and angst that seem so at odds with the sunny day. Hugs, j

    Reply

  8. Matrone Bell
    Jun 03, 2014 @ 11:50:53

    GREAT BIG HUGS, from across the pond. I don’t know what else to say so I’m sending virtual hugs for you. 🙂

    Reply

  9. Let's CUT the Crap!
    Jun 03, 2014 @ 12:23:00

    I feel for you. I do. Wish I had something useful to say which would help. I do not. Look after yourself, Willow. You are number one. You are important. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope it will be soon. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Reply

  10. bearspawprint
    Jun 03, 2014 @ 17:11:19

    Lisa has chosen our last minute theme “HOPE”….. for Eva for Thursday, June 5, 2014. Eva is having a more than difficult time and will be sitting out “all things blog” for a while.

    Reply

  11. bearspawprint
    Jun 03, 2014 @ 18:27:14

    Reply

  12. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.
    Jun 05, 2014 @ 21:56:27

    If only . . . we could slay the dragon once and then move on to life. If only . . . life were that simple.

    Reply

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