Hello everyone , note I am not bothering with the Italics because I shall lapse, at some point , back into normal New Roman so lets start as I mean to continue.
Sorry I am still finding it hard to write and apart from that lurking dog in the corner there I do not know why. There are a thousand feelings and fears screaming to get out of my head but they are trapped, trapped and locked in! I am ploughing through your posts and comments trying at least to keep up and keep abreast of the buzz in the hopes that my block and darkness will lift,
I am annoyed with myself because there is so much good in my life right now that I should be grateful for and busting with joy . Sadly the fact is I am not and with my poetry not even willing to help me I feel bereft. I am trying not to be on the laptop in my husbands pressence right now as he seems to think it is sapping my sanity… the truth is totally the reverse! But hey ho what do I know.
I am looking out of the kitchen window it is 7.50am and the sun is out and it it looks like it might be a dry and warm day, a rare thing at the moment. It is 1st of June and even last night we had to have the heating on! Later this morning we are going over to visit the Newbie and his mum and dad as their third wedding annaversary is this comming week. We have bought them crystal glass as tradition demands, for 3rd anniversary. I found some beautiful champagne saucers which have tiny Swarovski crystal elements used in the pattern looking for all the world like tiny diamond stars in orbit!. Well I love them and they came in a lovely black box how could I resist. My husband the much more practical one brought our son a 1050Watt all sing all dancing impact power drill…. very romantic not … but all the same very useful and I am sure it will be well used!!
Well that was about 30hrs ago and still I am finding it so hard to write, it hurts not to write, not to express myself. I do not even feel like answering my emails and usually I love to keep in touch with my friends.
Bare with me I will be be back, after all I have Little Mae and all her friends hanging on for me to rescue them! I think the Kate Bush singing Running up that hill, expresses the feeling of treading water and being bogged down in saddness. I think there is light at the end of the tunnel.