Blackness Falls Again

Frightened and alone I retreat into my shell

I am afraid that the black is returning. I am descending into hell.

The zip is returning to my mouth slowly but surely closing.

The nothingness, is crawling into my soul leaving it frozen .

The silence is already here it screams above the noise

I go about my  everyday  wearing a smile not to loosing my poise.

It is easier to give into the waves of black.

Than it is to fight the demons throwing knives at  my back.

I see it moving in, closing down the horizon blurring out all hope

No escape, no appeal  the relentlessness. I hold out no hope.

The  snipes  and the jibes are ever present now

The condemnation and the shame is making my back bow.

Claws and talons scratch at me they leave their bloody marks

On my arms and on  my back . I hear it screaming in my head as at me it barks!

“Useless you are useless, lazy and stupid , good for nothing a waste of space.”

It is easier to give in now than to fight as once again I fall from grace.

46 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa
    May 21, 2014 @ 18:00:41

    I hate depression. ♡♡♡♡♡

    Reply

  2. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words
    May 21, 2014 @ 18:02:27

    I have walked those black corridors many times this past 3 years
    so dark it is void of warmth, icy breath blows down my neck turning
    me blue inside out…
    your words are haunting in feeling familiar…
    Take Care….You Matter…Willow
    )0(
    maryrose

    Reply

  3. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister
    May 21, 2014 @ 19:31:38

    Well written, my Willow. Hugs. xxxxxx

    Reply

  4. Let's CUT the Crap!
    May 21, 2014 @ 23:19:35

    I have known depression but not as dark as this. How to break it? Not to give in? I do NOT know but I hope nothing darker than this is on the horizon. 😉

    Reply

  5. Paul
    May 22, 2014 @ 05:45:34

    Wow, that is so real Willow. Are you OK?

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      May 22, 2014 @ 11:12:29

      Thank you Paul I will be okay. Sometimes things get so black but I am used to it. Writing it out definitely helps. So deep breath big smile and onwards and upwards. xxxxx

      Reply

  6. socialbridge
    May 22, 2014 @ 11:47:47

    Oh Willow, how I wish I could send you the joy of my black dog (puppy) to lift the dark clouds and drag you out into the sun. Just close your eyes and think of him. Believe it or not he started banging on the kitchen door the when I was into the first few words of this! Now there’s intuition for you.

    Reply

  7. Eric Alagan
    May 23, 2014 @ 00:19:28

    It must be terrible – depression. You captured it so well here – scary.

    Reply

  8. Country Fairy12
    May 24, 2014 @ 05:30:09

    Its crazy how you put into words exactly how I feel….Can I borrow you and take you to my shrink appointment…lol

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      May 24, 2014 @ 05:57:58

      Hi , isn’t that just damn typical some smart ass spells out how you feel. I am available at a small fee. 🙂 seriously though if it helps show the poem to her. It was my pain physiologist ( I had a life changing accident 4yrs ago) suggested I write my feelings out , so I do. I do hope you are feeling good today. Xxx

      Reply

  9. Brenda Davis Harsham
    Jun 01, 2014 @ 23:07:28

    I wish we could just command that black cloud to lift, attach a big fan and blow it away. Maybe a pet dragon, flapping its wings could break it up and send it away. It lifts when it’s ready though. Deep sigh of perseverance. Hugs, Brenda

    Reply

  10. Colourfade
    Jun 06, 2014 @ 17:57:57

    your words,powerful…

    Reply

  11. Trackback: Why Facebook Why? | willowdot21

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