It is dark and they are coming to get me ………. I hear the footsteps in my ears , then a gun shot. BANG! Oh! help my eyes fly open and I am in bed on the ward. The footsteps and the gun shot come from my Ipod and the book I am listening to. I had dozed off again. I am so stiff if only I could turn over but as ever I am trapped in this brace.
My husband had downloaded some James Patterson, books on to my Ipod and mostly I am enjoying them just every so often I loose my hold on reality and it all turns into a nightmare. I am not sure of the time, it all regimented in here but also very easy to loose all sense of time.
When did I get here which ward am I on, I can’t hear Gwen calling for Angela. Think willow, think where am I did I move……… Yes I did that Nurse upset me, the one with the funny name she really stressed me out.
I get so upset and I cry easily, I am not like that. I do not cry at the drop of a hat. I try hard not to but it just happens. When is my operation, no one will tell me , I wonder why !
The story is getting very scary again, this man has is stalking Detective Cross and his family they are all in danger, am I in danger . I just wish I knew which ward I am in and where I am.
Will I run free, OH! God will I ever walk again…………………….
willowdot21 
Mar 21, 2014 @ 22:50:08
What a window, my friend. xxxx
Mar 22, 2014 @ 08:14:18
Just memories and all the fear and bewilderment returns. xx
Mar 21, 2014 @ 23:56:25
I like how you mixed the reading of the book and waking only not to know exactly what’s going on. Which is more real? This is terrific because I can feel the panic.
🙂
Mar 22, 2014 @ 08:20:55
I was panicking practically all the time. It was the uncertaincy nobody took any time to explain what was going on or how the morphine would affect me. Thank goodness just memories bit I still feel the panic and confusion. Consequently I do not think back unless I really have to. Writing this is in a way exorcizing it all. Have a great trip , pictures please. !!!
Mar 22, 2014 @ 09:40:30
You’ve perfectly described the caught between fact and fiction, Sweet Willow, panic wise, where fact is one place you don’t want to be at that time.. Warmest of hugs, always xxPenxx
Mar 23, 2014 @ 16:50:32
It was horrid Pen I felt like Alice lost in, not-so-wonderland. I never knew what was around the corner and I knew really in those early days knew what was real and what was not!………. Hugs Pen! xxx
Mar 22, 2014 @ 15:11:41
I’m going through this exact thing right now recovering from ARDS. I walked 150 feet yesterday all by myself. The panic is the worst when you wake up. Thanks for sharing. I don’t feel so alone.
Mar 22, 2014 @ 21:45:54
I am so glad to have been able to reassure you that you are not alone. Well done on your walk today, be brave and never give up hope. I am praying for you and willing you well.
Mar 22, 2014 @ 21:55:30
Thank you so much Willow. 🙂
Mar 22, 2014 @ 22:37:11
My pleasure 🙂