A Little Tenderness: part 3

In and out of sleep , it is very confusing. There is no rest really  the pain does not let up  and it is only  when the drugs  are administered  that I drift off properly. Gwen is as ever calling for Audrey , the lady  next too me is dosing  and I feel so odd. My husband has  put some books on my Ipod  the only  trouble is  that I drift off mid story  and it is  so hard to rewind.

6am lights on and breakfast, it is easier  to have toast I can eat that lying down, though I would like some porridge  but there is no one to help me …. so toast it is.  The lady next  to me tells  me how nice the porridge is… yes I bet it is.   Time  for blood pressure and temperature , ” have you passed a motion willow?”  “No  not yet” I reply. “we can give you some medicine  for that ” the nurse says ………….. they can give medicine for everything but can they make  me walk. I drift off again.

8.30am ” Hello willow time to wash  dress you and change your bed”. I just smile I hate this , I understand it has to be done  and they do it well  but they talk over me about  their lives, have they have mistaken me for one of the old ladies in here  that cannot or will not comunicate . Shall I interupt their chatter or shall I…… there you go all clean and comfy now.  They walk away and I am alone again  time for Imogen I think !

My head is so messed up where the hell am I … oh! God I can’t  move , help, help!

“Hello Willow I am just doing your blood pressure , it is high are you okay? ”  I look at the nurse  and I try  to say I am scared I keep having bad dreams and I feel so trapped in this body brace. What I do say is “I am okay  just having strange  dreams, do you know when  my operation will be ?” No  she shakes her head.

She doesn’t  know , I watch her walk off and I am slipping off again, Imogen is singing in my head

10.am  The  lady  comes round with the hot  drink, I have coffee in  a beaker  with a straw , it tastes funny but it the only way to get a drink.

…………. “hi ” It is a doctor  now, ” what are you listening to?” I am about to tell him  but he is asking me more questions , it is so hard to concentrate but I do my best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12midday dinner arrives, Oh! I am in luck today  the young girl  is  here to help me. She is African  and so pretty she has a pretty nature too. She smiles and talks to me as she feeds  me , she listens to me , she really  does. I ask  her is she going to be a nurse , no  she  is going to be a pharmasist , shame she would  be a great nurse.

1pm  the cleaner is here  she is nice always smiling  but  she does not speak a word of English. She has  the most lovely eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello Willow  how was your morning ” it is  my husband  he is here  to help  me through the afternoon, trouble is  I keep slipping in and out of sleep. Why will they not operate  I will feel safer, stronger, better  after they have. My husband talks  and I listen, he tells me how cold it is , how bad  the snow is. I want to be awake  but I just keep slipping away.

3pm the tea lady again  she gives  me a beaker with a straw of coffee and my husband  a cup of tea for  my husband. The lady in the  next bed  had has two biscuits.

6pm dinner arrives, my husband helps  me, he is getting good at  this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stays  till about 7.30pm I urge  him to go home and rest.

I ring for a bedpan  the nurse says ” surely  you have a catheter”   “yes” I said ” I do not need to pee”. It is  almost impossible  to use a bed pan when you are  laying  flat. This nurse  leaves  me on the bedpan  for over 20mins  then longer after I have rung  for her to help me.  I ask her  have I been , no she says walking away. ………. Why can’t I tell if I have been, why can’t I go, why can’t I feel . My stomach  really hurts, so does  my back hurt so much, I start to cry  then  the cloak of sleep surounds  me again.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11.30pm  I hear  the nurses starting  the drugs round  the night shift  must be here , they are so noisy, blood pressure, temperature , pluse, tablets. Straighten the bed. Lights out ..not bad  tonight it is middnignt. Let me get these headphones  back in  shut  the ward out. …………………………

Follow me on Twitter

Follow Us

Follow Us

Follow Us

Follow Us

France & Vincent

Writing Magic, Myth and Mystery

Sun in Gemini

SteveTanham - writing, mysticism, photography, poetry, friends

But I Smile Anyway...

Musings and memories, words and wisdom... of a working family woman

New2Writing

KL Caley - Novel Ideas

Hot Dogs and Marmalade

Salty like hot dogs (and tears). Sweet like marmalade (and life).

Two on a Rant

Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.

Ivor.Plumber/Poet

An Old Plumber, An Ex-Carer, An Amateur Poet, Words From The Heart

Trent's World (the Blog)

Random Ramblings and Reviews from Trent P. McDonald

Marsha Ingrao - Always Write

Having fun, while encouraging, and promoting bloggers

Caramel

Learner at Love

Chel Owens

A Wife, My Verse, and Every Little Thing

Sacred SoulSongs

Sacred Paths and Detours

Mr. Ohh!'s Sideways View

For those of you who aren't me...and I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't.

The Small Dog

Life from the Tail End

USUAL MUTTWITS

DOG TAILS by ZoZo and Jools

kimbladeswriting

poetry and short stories

Ben Naga

Gifts from the Musey Lady and Me. "Laissez-moi vous raconter ma vraie histoire."

About the Jez of It

Poetry, stories and strange odds and ends from the desk of a writer

The Sound of One Hand Typing

Music, Musings, Memoir, and Madness

"LIFE" ( You like it, I love it! )

"LOVE"-Keeping it real, and keeping it simple!

Our Eyes Open

Come along on an adventure with us!

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

Diary of a Dublin Housewife

J-Dubs Grin and Bear It

As Always, More to Come

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Blog magazine for lovers of health, food, books, music, humour and life in general

Colline's Blog

a potpourri of thoughts and experiences

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

lynz real cooking

lynz real life

Darswords

Musings about Havenverse

From Cave Walls

The Journey Home

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter

like mercury colliding...

...moments of unexpected clarity

G-Bears Blog

Real Life - Hard Facts !

All in a Day's Breath

Art, Love of Life, Philosophy, Writing, Spirituality

Kevin Parish

Poetry, lyrics and other words...