Lonliness

Day breaks , silence is shattered the birds start to stir

Waiting on the branches for crumbs to be scattered.

Open the blinds put out the light

Unbolt the door set forth out of the night.

Out of the night towards the sun,

Life just goes on it does not grind screaming to a halt because you have gone.

It is not right it all feels wrong why does the world not mark your passing?

I want to scream to make them all see how deep my wound is. Why are you not here, I keep asking.

keep asking why did you go, my hands reach up to the sky,

I miss you so. My tears could fill an ocean blue, my lips still asking why.

So another day is here and I have fed the birds, put on my coat of lies.

Paint my face,  dry my eyes.

Check the clock walk the path leave the safety of the hearth.  

Again I take my place among them, surrounded by so many but I stand alone.

 I arrive at work and greet my friends and stay there until I can go home.

The phone the screen the printer, coffee cups and a break ….

I keep going on this endless road smiling, laughing but it’s all fake.

Smiling, laughing but it’s all fake. Home again and it is late.

I stayed out drinking for the emptiness here is what I hate.

The weekend is here tomorrow but I shall be busy so busy so I can hide from sorrow.

Friends for coffee, family for lunch out in the evening with a great bunch.

I cannot stop not even for a minute or I shall see the hole you left ….yes and I am in it.

For Lindy x

12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. acuriousgal
    Oct 27, 2013 @ 20:37:45

    When my Mother passed away suddenly, these were the feelings I felt also. I can’t even remember the year after she died, I was walking around in a fog. I couldn’t stop thinking about her or her death. Time did make it easier for me. I truly am sorry for your pain.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Oct 27, 2013 @ 20:55:33

      I actually wrote this for my cousin Lindy who found it so hard to get over the death of her Mum. It took me seven years to face up to my mothers death ….. how strange you too equated this with your mothers death too. ….

      Reply

  2. russtowne
    Oct 28, 2013 @ 01:25:01

    I especially love the last line. May that hole–and you–be filled and healed with love.

    Reply

  3. Deborah
    Oct 28, 2013 @ 07:13:15

    Such a beautiful expression of the agony of loss. So many moments of pain, of emptiness, of hopelessness. And the façade one must maintain. You painted it all so realistically, providing the smallest comfort that at least, there are others who understand.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Oct 28, 2013 @ 11:33:29

      Yes it helps to know we are not alone because in times of bereavement we all do feel alone, so alone….. but if I can just touch another with this poem it has served it’s purpose. xx

      Reply

  4. listradawn
    Oct 28, 2013 @ 07:30:04

    Beautiful, Willowdot21. I am going through this and I do not feel so isolated now. Thank you. 🙂

    Reply

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