Cutting the pain

Shut the door , shut them all out  cover your ears

Pull the curtain, drop the latch wish you could shut out your fears.

The pain is building, pumping in your blood,  echoing in your head .

Find the tin box, the one you hide , with the knife and tissues under your bed.

 

Put the light on take a deep breath not long now release is at hand.

Take the knife watch it cut , cut deep see the red line expand

Seeping out it takes the pain , make it work this time again

Make it work deeper we go  , damn it’s gushing tissues quick make no stain.

 

Why won’t it stop , just watch it flow

Making all my pain and fears go

I am feel so cold ,I can’t stop shaking

Falling, falling all is fading something is all my agony taking ………………….

 

 

 

 

32 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Eric Alagan
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 23:34:35

    That image is gruesome, Willow dear – including the literal.

    Peace,
    Eric

    Reply

  2. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 23:52:54

    Frightful.

    Reply

  3. brazenblood
    Jul 03, 2013 @ 08:37:08

    very well written!!, thank you, hope you dont need to do this too? XXX much love PS cant seem to find your profile, do you only have an about page about you? 🙂

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jul 03, 2013 @ 15:34:08

      I only have a about page ! never thought of saying any more about myself. I hope you did not mind me writing about this subject. I was so moved by your post I had to try and let others take notice of the plight of Self Harmers. …. I do not cut but I do scratch my back and arms until they bleed, similar but not the same .

      Reply

      • brazen
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 12:14:06

        I guess it is the same concept, isnt it? pain for pain. I am sorry you have pain too hard to carry sometimes. It would be nice to know a bit more about you, and stuff but only put it up if you dont mind the whole world wed web knowing 😉 I ended up cutting last night, sometimes the alternatives don’t work and evenually you just spend all your energy trying not to do it until…you just do. Oh well, and I didn’t call my therapist, I will have to tell her tomorrow though….I didnt go for stitches, steri-strips will have to do. Thanks again for your poem, hopefully more people will get the help they need and less will take their own life accidentally. Kindness and love to you>>> Brazen

      • willowdot21
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 14:19:04

        You must be careful, you could so easily damage a nerve vein, artery or even worse. Is there no one you can talk to? I know it is hard … my habit ( habit it is and a nasty one … now I do not mean in a dirty secret way. Cutting or scratching are nasty because you can hurt , damage and definitely scar yourself. I carry scars on my back and shoulders I need to cover them up.) I empathize with that feeling of refusing to do it for so long but just thinking about it ……… then inevitably you give in. Do you recognize what sparks it off. I know that being nagged or shouted at sets me off or just plain anticipation of aggravation.. I seem to bring it on myself.
        Maybe I shall email you a little about me ……… there is enough to write a book so perhaps an abridged edited version. Don’t feel alone , if your therapist has not already told you about a group look for one …start one , do a positive move forward one step at a time. I smile even when I feel like shit I find if I keep smiling situations improve. Thinking of you and saying a little prayer! xxxxxx

  4. prayingforoneday
    Jul 03, 2013 @ 15:35:17

    That image had me squirm..
    VERY POWERFUL..

    Please accept this Award.
    “Best Moment Award”
    http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/07/03/my-14th-best-moment-award/
    Thank you
    Shaun

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jul 03, 2013 @ 15:57:32

      Thank you Shaun I do not do awards any more due to time pressure but I will mention it , thank you so much for the honour! It is a nasty subject but it must be faced! xxxxxxxx

      Reply

      • prayingforoneday
        Jul 03, 2013 @ 22:37:30

        Yeah I agree 100% Some subjects nobody wants to debate, but you are totally right, some things must be debated and understood. We can’t sit with our eyes closed and fingers in ears and think “Shit things happen to others” They happen to us all..

        And sorry about the Awards..I have no memory.
        You said say “Not in a million years” lol
        xx

      • willowdot21
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 08:40:00

        When things are really important and people are harming themselves and are in danger of doing serious damage even death. It needs to be out in the open talked about nothing should be taboo.
        With knowledge comes help.
        No worries on the award front. X

      • prayingforoneday
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 11:47:49

        Agreed…

        Award front?
        Sorry WiIlow, been up 25 hours here, bit sore..

      • willowdot21
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 14:20:15

        Get the to a nunnery .. I mean bed!!

      • prayingforoneday
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 15:11:15

        If only the pain would allow me to close my eyes..I had an hour or 2 here and there. Legs/Knees are like light bulbs with a fork in them….

        I will try x
        Or keeping playing Football Manager 🙂

      • willowdot21
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 15:35:23

        Try to rest!!

      • prayingforoneday
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 15:39:41

        I have. As I say, I got a few naps in. My Daughter Courtney awoke at 4am with a bad cold, so I had to bring her through and give her calpol and that was is both up till half 6, think I got an hour till Chloe got up..I have napped…But I do need a BIG sleep..I could take a sleeping tablet, but I would sleep till Saturday 🙂

        Ta Willow x

      • willowdot21
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 15:42:43

        It is so hard I know , your right not to give into the pills … they don’t really help!!hugs 🙂

      • prayingforoneday
        Jul 04, 2013 @ 15:49:17

        Yeah as the song goes “The Drugs don’t work”
        Well they do, they are just bad for you 🙂

      • willowdot21
        Jul 05, 2013 @ 06:05:06

        They don’t work for me.

      • prayingforoneday
        Jul 05, 2013 @ 07:10:45

        Same. And WOW was that sleep needed! lol

  5. antimania89
    Jul 04, 2013 @ 08:16:12

    Thanks for sharing and making people aware

    Reply

  6. bearspawprint
    Jul 06, 2013 @ 01:28:30

    Courage. You have courage.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jul 06, 2013 @ 15:04:57

      Yes we all need to be courageous, thank you for reading. xx

      Reply

      • bearspawprint
        Jul 06, 2013 @ 15:26:57

        The hard thing about helping is that to share courage, that is to help instill it in others, one’s own fear and hurt and pain and damage has to be revealed. Which takes even more courage. Fortunately there is an infinite well to draw on but the Waters of Courage are composed of fear and pain and hurt and damage. And love. Great Love. I feel honored to be allowed to read the content of your blog. Thank you for all that you have done —- Bear

      • willowdot21
        Jul 06, 2013 @ 15:35:38

        That is what I am trying to do! As I have admitted I do not cut but when stress, frightened or unhappy I scratch my back, arms and legs til they bleed. I want then to know they are not alone. Thank you for your kind words I am they one who is grateful that you read my blog. xxxx

      • bearspawprint
        Jul 06, 2013 @ 19:40:18

        It is what you do do. With grace and beauty and wonderful poetry.

  7. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words
    Jul 09, 2013 @ 03:26:29

    real emotion…
    )0(

    Reply

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