I Hate Myself

I cannot look in the  mirror because it hurts me so

I am ugly, you don’t need to tell me, I know.

Every day is a trial,I want to stay in my room

Cover all the mirrors, close the curtains I feel safer in the gloom.

You don’t need t be so mean,

Pointing out my faults and making a scene.

Why do always have to shout,

I get it, I am always wrong, you leave me in no doubt.

I wish that you would just go away

In my room safe I’d always stay.

You don’t have to hate me so

I hate myself enough so why don’t you just go!

The Blood is flowing faster now

From the cuts I did earlier, deep , deep and how

God it  finally feels I  have the upper hand.

You don’t need to hate me . I HATE MYSELF, do you understand.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The above poem was inspired  by carrotykate  she very kindly allowed me to use this wonderful illustration. Do visit her page it is wonderful. 

27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bdh63
    Jun 30, 2013 @ 09:52:51

    You have such an ability to capture the pain and isolation of a person who is different from the “norm” and how hard that is, to be different. So sad to feel hated and wrong, even more sad to hate and hurt yourself. Somehow you convey all this, and still rhyme, which is amazing, well done. I like rhymes that don’t seem forced or awkward.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 30, 2013 @ 11:32:50

      I am so pleased that it read well to you. I always try to tell a story because I feel that gets the meaning over to the reader! I used an illustration that I saw on wordpress and I got her permission to use it …. the words just jumped out of me .Thank for reading and replying. xxx

      Reply

  2. zendictive
    Jun 30, 2013 @ 12:26:02

    this cuts deep (~_~)

    Reply

  3. Gray Dawster
    Jun 30, 2013 @ 16:13:36

    Life can be sad and lonely for some,
    it can add feelings of dread, away from
    the crowd, alone in a room, no mirrors,
    no comforting words, just the silence 😦

    You have portrayed the loneliness, and
    the pessimistic slant that arises from such
    cruelties in life, and nobody should have to
    feel like that 😦

    Well written Willowdot 🙂

    Andro xxxx

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 30, 2013 @ 16:18:10

      Thank you so much Andro, I wanted to capture those feelings, I have been there so I know the darkside of life. Thankfully I am back in the light, ( touch wood). The drawing really inspired me , it was screaming at me to tell it’s story. Have a good evening Andro.xxxxx

      Reply

      • Gray Dawster
        Jun 30, 2013 @ 16:23:53

        I usually write something without any graphics in mind and then simply find something that relates to my poem or story, usually of the hooror genre but lately I have not been adding very much on my Space.

        Hey but I will be soon 🙂 Have a
        lovely rest of weekend Willowdot 🙂

        Andro xxxx

    • willowdot21
      Jun 30, 2013 @ 16:28:21

      I usually write that way too but it was the drawing it drew me. I am so looking forward to seeing what ever it is you are brewing !! 😉 xxxxx

      Reply

      • Gray Dawster
        Jun 30, 2013 @ 16:33:10

        I have lots of scripts that I could add but whether it will be wicked, naughty or just ghoulish I have no idea 🙂 Someone once asked me if I could write on any subject and I said yes of course, not realising that she would say “How about something jovial on homosexuality” Gulp…

        Well I did those for her and it added a giggle or three but I would hesitate to add any of those here as some peeps might be offended, even though they are written in fun. Have a lovely time Willowdot and keep writing your poems and stories, they are great 🙂

        Andro xxxx

      • willowdot21
        Jun 30, 2013 @ 20:09:02

        Dear Andro I did not answer this before because I had to go out. I do understand why you say you cannot always print all your works here, I also understand that work cannot always be written at the drop of a hat!! be well my friend be happy!! xxx

  4. tornadoday
    Jun 30, 2013 @ 18:02:45

    There is emotion that rocks the body. You’ve revealed the same here. I can only hope and pray that this is a work of the imagination, and not one of reality. Love you, Willow. ~ Ever, Bobbie

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 30, 2013 @ 20:06:15

      Dear Bobbie thank you for your care, I speak from memory, I no longer feel this way but the drawing touched me and brought old feelings to the fore. Bless you for caring. xxx

      Reply

  5. saminaiqbal27
    Jun 30, 2013 @ 21:51:31

    I have the same feeling as bdh63 has.

    Reply

  6. penpusherpen
    Jul 01, 2013 @ 09:36:31

    heart-wrenching, Willow, ‘cos it paints such a terribly emotive picture of what many have to live through, Self harm/self worth/self hatred all meld together and are described so well in your words. hugs aplenty, xPenx

    Reply

  7. Ermilia
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 02:08:39

    Very powerful. All I can do is hope that those who feel such anguish and hopelessness find a way out, hopefully they also find someone to help them out.

    – Ermisenda

    Reply

  8. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.
    Jul 02, 2013 @ 04:27:05

    Excellent.

    Reply

  9. bearspawprint
    Jul 06, 2013 @ 01:41:08

    Touch wood. Yes.

    Reply

  10. WordsFallFromMyEyes
    Jul 13, 2013 @ 00:07:44

    Willow this is treacherous – a traitor to your better self. You have beauty like we all do, but obviously you are seeing only darkness right now.

    This is so awful, Willow. I wish for you to breathe, and be somewhere that you are cared for and respected. Please take care.

    Reply

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