NaPoWriMo Day 15 Together Apart

Day 15 NaPoWriMo : Today’s prompt is  to write a pantun. which I have attempted, in fact I have attempt three . The subject is couples who have grown apart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With your back to me at the worktop

You stand there kneading  anger and hate

Nothing improves nothing changes ever

The grapes of wrath are sour still.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That sun shines without any warmth

Somehow the sheets dry in the wind

You cannot see the need to forgive

I cannot see how I have sinned

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hate this box that sets me free

I escape on the wireless route

Your temper flares red hot at me

Escape , Alt, delete run reboot.

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Angela
    Apr 15, 2013 @ 15:44:58

    These are great Willow. I especially like the first one; in a very few words you have captured such distance between two people. It made me cringe – so it certainly worked (I mean that as a great compliment in how you have handled the subject matter!!) 🙂

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Apr 15, 2013 @ 16:03:03

      Thank you Angela I am glad it worked, It was meant to be painful, obvious to every one except maybe the couple. I accept your words gratefully as you intended them !! 🙂 x

      Reply

  2. penpusherpen
    Apr 16, 2013 @ 15:16:16

    so much pain can be felt in relationships meant to be loving, Sweet Willow, and you’ve captured this perfectly… It amazes me sometimes, how silence can become a weapon, if wielded well, … and some know how to wield it with such dexterity… xPenx

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Apr 17, 2013 @ 08:38:59

      Yes Pen you have hit the nail on the head, silence can be weilded deftly. It can cause so much pain. No fun teetering on the edge of a cavernous dark void

      Reply

  3. jessicanix
    Apr 16, 2013 @ 18:42:30

    “Esc alt del run reboot” brilliant. That last bit was the best for me, definitely captured the essence of two people that have grown to resent one another.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Apr 17, 2013 @ 08:53:11

      Thank you Jessica I was just using current parlance as I was talking about a laptop with in the whole problem and suddenly the thought of removing the whole thing and starting over just made sense. xxxx

      Reply

  4. I HAVE A VOICE
    Apr 16, 2013 @ 22:37:39

    Willow~there is such an expansive wilderness in these!

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Apr 17, 2013 @ 08:33:57

      I did hope to convey how absolutely hopeless is the feeling of living with someone with whom you have lost all contact and communication. Sometimes the eyes flash, anger, irritation or hate….. That is a result…. Lost in the wilderness.

      Reply

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