Bleeding heart

Is it really all me, am I really the ignorant bitch, is that all you see. Will the never knowing which way you will react ever become easy. Will it relax my brow and my stomach un- impact. These deep cracks across my face caused by fear, your kindness could so easily relax and erase.

Ever present stress has become the norm I check what I say from dusk to dawn. Yet no matter how hard I try I mess things up, you shout, I cry. Why do I stay I am not sure I have asked myself this a thousand times or more.

I try to keep you happy I flatter and I calm. I do everything I can to keep you from harm. All the good I do gets blown away  by a simple word or an utterance, a stupid action or sentence thrown away.

Your words are harsh your words are cruel your actions can reduce me to jelly and make me look a fool. Your demands can spoil any day things must go your way, no grey for you no shades, you can gut me, disembowel me drag my faults out and them display.

What am I just a bleeding heart put on this world for you to tear apart. I am so tired so very tired I would leave escape if I were smart. But we both know we shall not part for you  have tight the strings of my heart. You knew that from the very start..

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lenwilliamscarver
    Jan 12, 2013 @ 19:55:55

    Whoa so realistic and so sad, a beautiful write that dredges up painful memories.

    Reply

  2. seriousseamus
    Jan 12, 2013 @ 20:24:38

    I ‘liked’ it. But ‘like’ is the wrong word. There needs to be a “Feel for ya” button.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jan 12, 2013 @ 20:38:21

      Yes there are many poems that do not merit a “like” a feel for ya ” or a simple “Right on I agree” one would come in useful too. Thank you anyway.

      Reply

  3. zendictive
    Jan 13, 2013 @ 13:21:43

    this inspired me (*_*) you might ask why? I saw something in this that I call strength, I watched my mother do this for years and if you ask me, she was the strong one to endure it and still be pationate and to stay was stronger than the un-happy individual that roared.

    Reply

  4. WordsFallFromMyEyes
    Jan 13, 2013 @ 18:38:33

    Willow, another aching one. Whenever I read anywhere ‘I am so tired’, oh, it reminds me, reminds me of my utter utter fatigue when I was unable to go on that 2011. To be so SO tired…

    This is great, Willow. Very earnest. And I love your colours – particularly your header. Awesome pages, Willow 🙂

    Reply

  5. Geoff
    Jan 15, 2013 @ 23:44:34

    You are forever the optimist, a positive flow within the lines of grey and those that are cruel and hurtful to you this day should realise that life can quite easily change, leaving the darkness behind and those pessimistic traits to fester in a continuous and lonesome rage, no one to punish anymore not a soul to rebuke, only a wretched shadow is he in solitude.

    Be well my great friend Willow…

    Geoff xxx

    Reply

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