Hi I wrote this in November of last year. Today I am feeling tired and cold and if I am honest very low. This poem of mine came into my head so I revisited it. I keep thinking that I have moved on and that he has too but then another kick from the gods of fate comes resounding into the small of my back and I open my eyes and see nothing has changed nothing at all.
I have changed about two words, they probably make no difference to the poem but I needed to change them. A little tweakette. Oh! that we could do that with life. The keys at the end of the poem are very symbolic to me. I feel locked up, trapped in a cell. Yet to the world I present this smile, “I can do ” appearance. What a joke that is I feel hardly capable of standing today.
Okay that is enough,I have subjected you all to more than you need to know about my bleeding heart and life so lets wipe the blood from the page and hope for a cheeky chirpy next post…… yer right!! 😦
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WHY?
Just how do you do it time after time.Why do I let you do this to me, there is no reason or rhyme. It makes no sense, why do you tear up this life of mine. Do you have no sense of occasion do you not even care, have you no feelings left for me, do you even need me there.
I think I must be stupid I think I must be mad to let you carry on the way you do, it is all so wrong, it just makes me feel so bad..
Why do you want to live two lives it surely it is not on. You are missing most weekends, sometimes weeks at a time and that is surely wrong. I have dodged the questions asked about you from family and friends I hate to lie for when that starts it never, never ends.
People take their sides they do not realize that they have, they make a choice which means different rules apply. The first time I was shown this my heart was turned to stone. I thought that I would die.
This really was a shock to me, I am a bit stupid you see, the fact that life is like that was staring at me glaringly.
It has been so many years now but time has not made any of the pain recede. In fact time makes no difference the pain just grows indeed. It has turned into acceptance which is a bitter seed.
Why have I taken this all for so long, why when I know it is all wrong. Family yes, appearances no,I lost all pride long ago . For my comfort maybe, I need help I need someone even if they don’t want me.
“WHEN WE LET GO WE ARE FREE “
willowdot21 