To my sisters and my friends.

We may not be together but we are not far apart. You my dearest sisters are never far from my heart.

We may stand on different shorelines separated by the sea and county but we are never to far that my words cannot reach you and your thoughts cannot affected me.

The other night I spoke my grief I let out my pain. I put it here on line not realizing I’d cause you so much strain.

My selfish words hit you like a curse and drew your heart strings tighter than a mean man’s purse.

So I write this to tell you, all my sister’s three. I am whole and  still standing, so you need not fear for me. My way may be dark and uncertain I am not sure of my road. But to know you are all there, helps me balance this heavy load.

Also my dear friends who read my outpourings, who follow me every night I really need to thank you have supported and helped me face this plight. The clouds will some day soon be parting and I must choose my way and step by step I shall make my way back to the light and a better day.


Thinking out Loud/ 2

photo credits deviant

Floating gently in the sea is all I want, just too be free. I don’t care what lurks beneath if it kills me it would be a relief.

I don’t need all this doom and gloom the way things are I may as well be on the moon.

I cannot run I cannot fly. I feel like a trapped bird with clipped wings so I cannot fly.

Never knowing which way things will go kindness, reason or will the insults will flow.

There are only so many egg shell you can tread before it messes with your head.

Version 1 was too personal

Cloak of stars

Weighed down by the toil of the day. The unholy battle of emotions screaming cursing as they drift away.
Stepping in to blessed blackness of oblivion made by my own hand. Praying it will take me and allow me restbite from what I can no longer stand.
I drape my cloak of stars around me and drift off into the night. Hoping soon all my travails will  take flight

Don’t answer the phone

It stings and it burns like bitter bile. Almost like a cancer consuming me all the while. I see no answer I see no end what did I do to deserve this torture to which I am condemned.


photo credits google images

Yesterday’s tears all shed and dried as  useless now as they were when first cried! Keep your words in don’t open your mouth if you say something wrong you will let all hell out.

Keep your head down, avert your eyes think out the consequence of your replies. Keep a lid on your emotions  don’t say too much think and think again beware of any raw nerves they may touch.

Try not to comment, yet don’t be too quiet that could be misconstrued as sulking or defiance and that could cause a riot.

You should of flown when you had the chance, you were a fool to stay and follow the dance. Things are not so perfect if you look below the surface. Like a swan paddling  like mad to keep in pace you hide all your fears behind the smile on your face.

Yesterday’s tears all shed and dried as  useless now as they were before they dried! Keep your words in don’t open your mouth if you say something wrong you will let all hell out.

The Burden of Life

Photo credits google images

Carrying the burden of your life is hard. We all do so, be it grief, loss, guilt, greed, gluttony ,spite, jealousy need I go on? I could fill a whole page just with the feelings and actions we allow to to burden us down.

We all carry a burden there is no escape from it. I think it is written in the stars… we toil, we strive we fight to keep alive all that is good but the dark is always there waiting on the touch line.

Whenever you find a treasure or gain a small triumph there is always the big shadow that descends on you, everything is rested from you before you can get used to it.

We all travel through this vale of tears and vale of tears it can be. The sun rises on one side of the world as it goes down on the other. One person’s life  may look easy from the outside but no one knows what goes on inside that person’s life. No one can guess at the trials people have to survive day in day out.

Why do we go on , why do we get up and face the day. Because we do, we do it because we are human and it is human to carry on, not to give up not to give in.

Ruby the working girl.

photo credits google images

Ruby is a working girl on duty night and day she works so very hard she rarely has time to play.

We were not busy today, my friend and I, so we dropped in on her as we were passing by.

Ruby was so pleased to see us she could hardly contain herself she was dashing here and dashing there and knocking things from off the shelf.

It was lovely to escape the three of us to green fields and the sun we wondered round and round chatting laughing, just having fun.

Then a silly thing, my foot began to itch so I slipped my shoe off to rest it on the damp grass green..unfortunately for me there was dog muck there lucking unseen.

That was really nasty an unwelcome surprise people who do not clean up after their dogs really make my temper rise.

So there we were scrabbling in field. My foot dirty and smelly well that was not in the deal. But Ruby she was not bothered she ran and sniffed and played this was her only time she not have  to behave!!

My shoe and and foot duely wiped we just had to laugh for Ruby was such a joy to see and went I got home I could have a bath.

So finally we walked Ruby back to work, she was so happy to greet  her mistress we could see  Ruby was no shirk.

As we walked home we marvelled at her skill how she looked after her mistress and her kept safe and protected her from all ills.

We laughed about my smelly feet and what we would like to do to those who do not clean up after their dogs ! We decided that they all should be fed to hungry hogs!!!!

Ruby and her fellow working dogs are silent heroes, often not thought of and definitely unsung  but Sue and I think they are the best and Ruby is our favourite one!



We may be in the gutter

photo images google images

We may be in the gutter but we are looking at the stars. The man who said that first, I wander was he out each night trailing through the bars.

Did he have fight his way through each and every day and think , then think again about what he was aloud to say.

Was it then as it is now such a long way to look up, did his neck ache like mine was he afraid of getting stuck within the realms of time?.

Did he sit on walls as we did too and make plans and schemes, the moment made we knew we’d never do or full fill our dreams?

We may still be in the gutter we may have still a long way to rise but it was easier then, the hope and stardust had not yet deserted our eyes! Where are the hopes and schemes and dreams.Oh! where have they gone why are they all disappeared and we’re left here with just the memory of how bright they shone.

We may all be in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars! But we cannot reach them and their memories leave only scars.


Olympic Hopes

Hi just a little note here I have started a story on a separate page , you can find it by clicking on Sofia : How it all began . It can be found in the horizontal bar above this post in between About and Vlad. Tonight’s chapter is about Cressie.


Photo Credits google images

Thump, thump hop skip and jump. Run fast slip past the gaggle slowing you are winning not coming last! so keep it flowing!

Peddle peddle hit the metal row row no time to slow. Shot put, shot gun, arrows flying like feet on beach volley ball in the sun.

Ping pong, ding dong , plop plop tennis court bounce bounce basket ball in skirts and shorts very small!

Skip fly cartwheel high flim flam twirl and fly,swing swing on the rings,pole  vault jump the bars parallel uneven or just high!Splish slosh dive dive swim, crawl butterfly backstroke, breast stroke wow it leaves all behind in smoke! Sail those dingy row those those boats flash canoes win win just keep afloat!

Gallop trot trot jump jump , lots more many more boosting team pride let this joyous feeling join us all together and ride  down the selfishness of nations!

One step, one heart one mind forward together. Towards a  dream of  united mankind. Step up step out on towards a united finish line!

photo credits



photo credits google images

I look in the mirror and what do I see. That is not my face looking back at me. Where have those lines come from that pallor of skin, that face is in such the type  mess I never want to be in.

Look at the worry that pours forth from those eyes they are no longer blue , they no longer challenge the skies. Lips once red now seem so grey, almost dead.

My hair, no longer lustrous or long is now grey and in tatters, something is disastrously wrong. I look in the mirror and what do I see. That is not my face looking back at me.

Who stole the hours who took them away how did years fly when it only felt like days.  Where are my children where are my friends is this really all there is, is this where it ends.


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