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It has been hiding in the shadows shrinking from the sun  but it had no trouble finding me today it’s had its fill of fun.

Sleep  has never been my friend it has eluded me for so long but to bring it’s nasty little friend, pain with it, to me, somehow seems very wrong.

The pills that they give me to fight the pain are not quite up to the job, pain seems to out run them even enjoys itself as it listens to me sob.

I cannot do without them. On them I am hooked there is nothing stronger so my goose is firmly  cooked. So pain is  hiding,  just out of reach of the painkillers so it is me that has to screech!

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Do what I have to do, shutting out my pain I smile and act normal do what I have to do. No one wants to hear me moan, don’t say you do   because I know that is not true .

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Linda Willows
    May 30, 2012 @ 20:17:44

    I do. It makes us human. Lots of us have painful parts of our lives, most too vulnerable to share. You write. That is what you do. What is in… written! with some good editing and discretion! Love to you, I have had a problem with sleep for decades! Must take something or life would be upside down and feel sick all the time. Write all night, go to sleep at 6am! Not in this World!!!


    • willowdot21
      May 31, 2012 @ 06:24:56

      Hi Linda I am sorry to hear that you are suffering from lack of sleep as it is so blithely referred to. It is so draining and in the real world we have to run our lives. So like you I have had to learn how to cope with the pain the lack of sleep is a sideffect of my medication. I have taken to writing out my pain only recently, just over a year ago the pain therapist I was seeing suggested I write my pain out. I think she almost saved my life I hope I have progressed since then. I do hope you can rest and I send prayers that you can find sleep.. Be blessed and happy and thank you for your support xxxxx


  2. eof737
    May 31, 2012 @ 16:43:00

    Comrade in spirit… I struggle with it too and that is why I write at night; it helps me settle down and get some sleep. Stay Inspired. 😉


  3. Betty Hayes Albright
    May 31, 2012 @ 22:01:50

    Willow, I can relate to this pain you’re feeling (physical and otherwise!) Pain is a drain – on the body and our ability to sleep. (And then lack of sleep just makes it worse.) Sending a gentle hug to you….


  4. simon7banks
    Jun 15, 2012 @ 08:23:57

    Willowdot – I want to relate to this – hear you moan even – but struggle because I don’t know the nature of the pain. I’m not complaining – just my excuse for having no words of wisdom or even divine madness.

    Your reply to eof – sounds like something you need to discuss with your partner.


    • willowdot21
      Jun 15, 2012 @ 11:00:06

      You are so right, I know you are but right now I just feel, not strong enough to cope confrontation that would open a whole can of worms. Thank you for your reply and encouraging words.


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