Black Mood.

I can feel the anger in him, I try to help but I just make it worse. They talk in loud harsh voices….. I try to calm them but as ever I make it worse. I always make it worse, I did back then and even now I do the same.

It is there bubbling  just beneath the surface. It is mean and angry and when it bursts forth it is always directed at me. I sit here and I hear the anger. Their voices are even but angry.Black and hot like tar it is it smears and sticks and is the devil to get off.

Every time I say anything it is spat out and changed so in the end even I feel that it is me that has caused this. If they would read this they would say I am drowning myself in pity. I can hear them now “what is it to do with you? why is it always to do with you? ”

It is not to with me but as a mother  I need to help I need to insist I need to make sure they are safe and sorted ! My boys if they bleed I bleed for them if they weep I weep for them if they need I need to help them.

Then it is sorted I hear the voices quieten and drop , the goodbyes are said off one goes.I am here with their dad.

But I can feel the anger. It is there bubbling  just beneath the surface. It is mean and angry and when it bursts forth it is always directed at me. I sit here and I hear the anger their voices are even but angry.Black and hot like tar it is it smears and sticks and is the devil to get off.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. stephenedwards425
    Apr 23, 2012 @ 21:33:24

    I have enjoyed immensely reading your blog. As a writer I know you will understand if I am absent from making comments for a couple of months. I have two books I’m writing and the push is on to get them finished…so with only 24 hours in the day, I am going to continue to read and like, but my comments will be limited to replies for those who comment on my blog…thanks for the grace.

    Be encouraged!

    Reply

  2. granbee
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 17:04:14

    Dearest willowdot, I so relate to being in the presence of angry boys–and their taking it out on me! Thank you for this powerful post here today showing how much evil is spread by feeding anger!

    Reply

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