Münchhausen By Proxy

Mummy says I am not well she made me take some of her medicine but I am not allowed to tell. I am feeling sick now, that is true but I was okay until I had to drink her brew.

Hospitals are almost my home we have been in one or another they are almost all I have known. I just get to like a place and make friends then we have to move on. I get so lonely maybe I shall be allowed to go to school soon then, I can move on.

I hate these tests my arms are like a pin cushion, the doctors and nurses are so nice and they always say mummy is so brave. I like that because then she will behave. Sometimes she makes me drink funny stuff or she cuts me and put the  blood in my wee….. I don’t like that it means more tests for me.

It always ends the same they tell mummy they cannot find anything wrong with me. She gets angry, then the Drs seem to change. Then off we go into the night again we flee. Mummy says it is an adventure  and we will find another hospital to make me well she hushes me when I say no, I am well she says “You Must Not Tell”

Now at last mummy has said when we are settled and I can start school I was so excited but then I was vext. My beautiful hair she is going to shave off she said I have cancer  but I have not even a cough. Mummy got that angry look, no point to argue I can read her like a book.

I have to say I have cancer, “Tell the teachers, tell the girls let them see how brave you are.” she said delightedly. But I want my hair I do not want everyone looking at me ..pitying me. I am tired of only having tiny meals , no sweets no biscuits I have to keep thin. I have to look ill and always having to take the pills.

Mummy is right I do feel ill I am so empty inside it hurts I feel sick. Why must I be always ill does it have to be this way to give my mum a kick. Will I always have to look pale and sick for mum to get some kind of sick kick?


Münchhausen by proxy is  a fairly un- common ‘illness’ where usually a parent or carer presents with a sick child. They often make the child ill by poisoning them or giving them pills or putting blood in their urine.

The mother or carer ( the Münchhausen suffer) often has some medical knowledge and is happy and at ease in a hospital environment. Strange as it may seem the Drs and nurses   do not always spot this as they do not suspect the parents/ carers to harm the patient.

Children who are subject to MBPS are typically preschool age, although there have been reported cases in children up to 16 years old, and there are equal numbers of boys and girls. About 98% of the perpetrators are female.

The long-term prognosis for these children depends on the degree of damage created by the perpetrator and the amount of time it takes to recognize and diagnose MBPS. Some extreme cases have been reported in which children developed destructive skeletal changes, limps, mental retardation, brain damage, and blindness from symptoms caused by the parent or caregiver. Often, these children require multiple surgeries, each with the risk for future medical problems.

I have written this poem for Child Abuse Awareness Month because it is an uncommon and insidious for of abuse. Blink and you miss it but it cause no end of damage.


26 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. granbee
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 18:50:39

    I have a neighbor who has managed to do almost this same thing to her husband for over 20 years now–she has a fantasy of being controlling caregiver like she was when she took care of younger siblings as a child. What would you call an adult who does this to another adult? I agree, not nearly so horrible as to a child, but still!


  2. willowdot21
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 19:07:22

    Granbee I have been researching Münchhausen By Proxy and it can happen to older people , husbands or mothers and fathers the carer needs the gratification of being the centre of attention for being the hero they good one. It is called the same. I have found these last two weeks exhausting writing these sad sad poems I hope I can get to the end of the month …and still be sane well as sane as I am now!??


  3. catcherofstars
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 19:29:24

    That is awful!! Killing a child, how could someone do that!
    Andrea XOXO


  4. jymiely
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 00:09:01

    that’s very gruesome…i’m a nurse (but not practicing) and I couldn’t believe that such incident really happens, or it does really exists… i’m still in shocked right now i don’t know what to write.. tsk


    • willowdot21
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 05:08:59

      Yes it is extremely gruesome and I am afraid to say that it is true. You can Google it. I have been terribly shocked by what I have discovered this last fortnight whilst writing these sad sad poems. I wish it were not so but it is.


  5. jymiely
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 00:13:32

    by the way, i loved how you construct that poem…:)


  6. eof737
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 00:15:12

    Yes, disturbing…


  7. forbehindtheseeyes
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 03:42:18

    I was emotionally, physically, and sexually abused as a child. I found your blog and this poem was amazing. Hope to see you stop by my blog too.


  8. lostupabove
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 07:33:44

    Apparently, mothers killing or wanting to kill their childrenare a phenomenon that is dramatically increasing lately or at least is mentioned a lot more in the press.


  9. Missus Tribble
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 07:43:39

    The name “Beverly Allitt” springs to mind. She was an English paediatric nurse who killed nine children in her care and made others very poorly. She’s now in a maximum security prison, along with Rose West (and Myra Hindley, until she died).

    Ironically I felt almost as sorry for Beverly as I felt for her victims and their families, as she was as much a victim as they were. She wasn’t a monstrous killer; she was very ill and nobody was helping her because this disease doesn’t obviously present itself in most cases.

    I’m glad that you’ve drawn this one out in to the light. Everybody suffers in this case and not just the patient/child. People need to be more aware, and willing to help the sufferer as well as their unfortunate “victim”.


    • willowdot21
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 15:06:53

      It is a terrible phenomenon and it needs to be brought out into the open. As to Beverly Allit she is one of the typical ways in which Münchhausen not the parent or the carer but the nurse… we life in such a bad world we live in!!


  10. bipolarmuse
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 17:22:49

    So horrible.
    I applaud you for this awareness. ♥


  11. Maiya
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 08:38:13

    Only tears my friend only tears


  12. jasmindamaro
    May 05, 2012 @ 11:28:32

    hallo liebste freundin bin wieder zurueck nach einer schweren krankheit hatte cancer 6 wochen viel schmerzen chemo und radio nun sagt der arzt 99/o procent bin ich vom krebs ab hoffe das nun alles gut bleibt natuehrlich noch jahre lange nachbehandelungen alles liebe von jasmin big hug


    • willowdot21
      May 05, 2012 @ 12:06:32

      Sehr Jasmindamaro geehrte mir leid, ich bin nicht kannten Sie Krebs haben, war die Übersetzung zu klar, ist Ihr Krebs verbessert. Ich hoffe es und ich werde für Sie beten. Vielen, vielen Dank für Ihren Besuch. Ich schicke Dir ganz viel Liebe und guten Vibes Umarmungen XXXXXXX


  13. jasmindamaro
    May 05, 2012 @ 12:09:16



  14. gentlekindness
    Dec 12, 2015 @ 23:38:27

    Reblogged this on Lovely Wounded Lady Says ….


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