I didn’t have that biscuit

I didn’t have that biscuit I refused the cake. I still put on those extra pounds so what difference did it make? I never have a second drink I always stop and think.


I work myself  so hard and tell please for what. However hard I try loosing the  weight, it does not work I am not.

I am up and at’em each day before dawn  but each evening what the scales say just leaves me so forlorn.

I am sick of salad I am sick of  going to the gym I am sick of trying and never getting thin.

Is it some kind of joke does someone find this fun that no matter how hard I try I am lost before I am begun.

I have heard all the platitudes I have heard them all before people say you are not fat. They are are just trying to fool me for sure.

I have read every diet book each and every page but I never look like the writers and it it really makes me rage. I try hard to keep fit and to look nice and slim but things are just way to hard now and my patience is worn too thin.

I just do not know what am I to do I just don’t know the answer, so tell me now  do you ??


Author: willowdot21

Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.

19 thoughts on “I didn’t have that biscuit”

  1. Dieting is a myth and a fallacy. Eating and the chemical combinations of certain foods is essential in the fat/energy burning process…Starving oneself never works, because those survival systems kick in and the body slows itself while thinking that hard times are upon it (no food). I think portions make a difference too. Of course exercise as well, and a combo of these things. But it sounds like you know all of this. It’s hard to say why it works sometimes, and other times not. Everyone’s metabolism is different, and there are always stress and other mental/emotional factors to consider. I think the most important thing is to love yourself, even the “unwanted” parts!…and not give in to the media/hollywood hype of thinner is better and more glamorous. It’s a huge lie that has affected so many to much detriment.

    1. OH! yes that is so true and this is not the first poem or probably not the last poem on this subject that I shall write. The fact that so many young girls, and boys too suffer from bad images is as you say due to the media. The fact that children as young as eight are suffering bad self images is also due to the media. On the other hand children and adults have never been so big….. it all defies logic. I must say good night to you now as I am off to bed and I am very tired! So I do hope that I have not just written a load of rubbish!!

  2. Willow….Very good poem…plaintive and true to life; I’ve known many young people with this misguided, unreal image of themselves, and it is a difficult problem….at least, until you, or they, can realize that the only (and I mean, the ONLY) thing one can really change is their mind…. then it becomes possible to accept what is, without worrying about what someone else may say or think about what should be…..one just consents to become what, and who, they are…..

    1. Hi gigod I wrote the poem from past experience ..long past. Though what bought it to my mind was that after an accident three years ago I went from a size 10 to 12/14 due to not being about to wizz about as I used too. What with operations and threats of a wheelchair weight , weighed heavy on my mind (pun intended) but thankfully I got my head back together and now with physio and determination, lots of walking I am feeling more myself ( a little more maybe but myself) So yes I do think the media is so wrong to keep selling this waif thin look to the younger generations… it is breed neurotic adults who drink to cover not eating and who silde up and down the scales regularly! I wrote a poem last year on this very subject here it is if you fancy a look https://willowdot21.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/the-mirror-lies/. I am glad to hear that you and your friends prefer someone who looks healthy to a a skin and bone waif. Here is to sensible eating and exercise!!BE well and happy!!

  3. Oh, and by the way, by my standards of beauty, the girl in the picture is pretty enough I suppose, but could stand to put on about 10 or 15 pounds to be really sexy….just sayin’…. and I think a lot of men would say the same. Most of the guys I’ve known in my not inconsiderable experience (I’m 61 now) like their partners to have a little meat on their bones; it just looks healthier, and a healthy look is way more attractive than the starving waif look…..yes, there is also too much obesity in view (sorry, couldn’t resist…), but that is a different kettle of fish, so to speak… a happy medium is best all around….

    1. Yes I agree there is the frightening subject of obesity it is becoming a worrying problem over (UK) children not even five are slipping that way . This is what I mean we are getting obsessed with weight too much too little what ever happened to the happy medium.. Please have a good day! xx

  4. I think one should always aim for good health rather than losing weight. It’s only when you begin to enjoy the healthy foods and the running and yoga that the weight just comes off without you even realising because you’re having such a good time taking care of yourself. I also hate the scale. I stopped weighing myself ages ago because it can be so inaccurate if you’re working on strengthening your muscles!

  5. This poem had me smiling. As I get older, I too find it more difficult to keep the weight off, so I try and keep as active as I possibly can (walking dog, zumba, aerobics), but I do not deprive myself of any food I fancy. I eat everything in MODERATION. Enjoy life: it’s only too short and people will love you for what you are, not for what you look like.

  6. The answer is first, and foremost, do not compare yourself to others to decide how “thin” you ought to be. Second, make eating HEALTHY your priority, rather than low calorie! Also, pick a fitness activity that you could actuallly have fun with. Have you tried dancercise? And lastly, do NOT try to wear the same styles you did 20 years ago, okay?

    1. Dear granbee great sense comes from you as ever. I was writing the poem from one who has been there but is not there now fingers crossed. I go to the gym twice a week , and attend Pilates class and Deep Core Class and walk every day. I cannot do dancercise as due to my injuries I cannot jump about fast enough but I do work hard at what I do do!! I am a tad like old spotty goatly!!I love the advice about not wearing the clothes I wore 20yrs ago..I don’t but have you noticed they are all back in the shops!! HUGS! XXXXXXXXXX

  7. Sounds like you speak my thoughts and feelings here. I have stopped using the phrase “I am dieting” just eating healthy. Still never works.
    I am accepting me as I am but somedays are difficult when seeing all these wafer thin images we are subjected to!
    I am sure Obesity is a four letter word…with stretch marks…LOL
    Love the poem, well done, well done!!!

    1. Yes it is so hard the media have done so much damage to the egos of many a generation now , even children as young as five are becoming image concious?? What in the world are we doing and then at the other end of the scales there is obesity which is sneaking in too! I do not know the answer I really do not!! Thanks for your support xxxx

  8. this is interesting willow, for me being healthy is being in good health, have the power and strength to do what you want. Basically everyday I am having at least 11/2 hr. of activity such as jogging, walking, ah, I am not a gym type person. And honestly I can’t control eating so I’ll see to it that I eat more green and fruits…

  9. It sounds bad how this “thinning” thing is a dictate of society. But I remember myself believing that I was just big-boned and there’s nothing I can do about it. But I tried, and realized we can always do something, we are what we make of ourselves (no matter how hard it is to accept).

    If we must learn to discipline ourselves to see how far we can go, maybe we’ll know ourselves a little better. The extreme, like anorexia, is not healthy though.

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