19 | Jan | 2012 | willowdot21

agony, anguish

Sitting in the shower her body full of fear, no amount of steam or water can hide the fact that he is here. He has been stalking in the hallways waiting on the stairs he never tires of waiting and he’ll catch you unawares.

There’s no good hiding in here, deep breath, get to your feet. Dry your hair wrap yourself in a towel your destiny you have to meet. Get dry, get dressed get made up you need to look your best.

She walks into the kitchen he is sitting in a chair sipping a cup of her coffee. Against all odds she jumps to see him there. There is no point in speaking for he will not hear, he never listens to her he will not just disappear.

Reaching for a coffee she dreads another day but she needs some strength if she is going to get through work and not run away. Sitting down and sipping her coffee she looks him in the eye and with that sinking feeling she knows someone else will die.

Walking to the bus stop he follows her close it is raining again the bus is late they both get soaking wet. God she hates this weather most! The bus arrives and it crowded they only just get on. The other passengers seem agitated they all seem to sense some thing is wrong.

At last her stop arrives and they both alight still she has not said a word to him, it just would not be right. Walking through the corridors waiting for the lift no one wants to stand next to him so they hover and they shift. As she takes her coat and boots off she turns to him and says “if I change my job would you leave me alone would you go away” He looks at her intently placing a cold hand on her arm “no it would make no difference I will always follow you ” his voice both gentle and calm

Starting her shift she smiles to her working friends and notes and orders are passed along, her mind keeps asking will this ever end. Slowly starting her rounds she smiles and offers cheer the patients all love this nurse they all feel safe when she is near. Checking charts and temperatures and helping people to the loo the morning passes quietly, while he stands quiet, she has so much to do.

Sitting outside in the garden with him she shares her lunch she turns to and asks as he on a sandwich has a munch. “Why must I see you, why must I know that you are there. You have been with me all my life just tell me is that fair.” He turns again to look at her and he gives her a radiant smile. “So you can help those I have to take, you are with them and you show them care.” putting down his sandwich he goes on to say, “this is what you were born for and it has always been that way, you started off with animals while you young, we waited till you were old enough and then your real job begun”

making the difference

Later that afternoon she looks up to see him sitting on some ones’ bed,tears bite her eyes which she must hide sadness flooding in her head. She walks across and takes the young woman’s hand and she smiles and whispers gently and makes the woman understand. There is nothing to frightened of nothing to fear, this kindly hooded gentleman will soon be taking her away from all this pain she will feel so much happier and relieved and she will see all those she loves in the future again.

On the way home she asks him is she the only one , “why no ” he says ” there are many like you, like rays falling from the sun” “I am so tired and sad please is there another way” she sobs “No I am sorry but you will find it get easier every day!