I held out my hand to you the other day, you bit it off and threw it away. I tried to phone you, I had things I needed to know . I begged for answers you just said NO!
I laid my heart bare the cut sharp and clean you walk right by me, right through my blood as if you had not seen.
On the bed myself I laid bare you did not show, you just didn’t care. I wore white make up and blacked my hair. As I walked in you just gave me that withering stare.
I walked a mile in bare feet and sat for hours on your street I begged and begged but you would not meet. I sent you messages of un-dying love, dropped red rose petals on you from above.
I lost weight I starved myself I change my image a thousand times , committed several minor crimes. What ever I did you did not want me, you said you would never be mine.
Please notice me
I did my best even proposed on bended knee, you just walk out of the restaurant and made a fool of me. I just don’t know what to do I just need a little nod from you.
Finally I took the hint. I cut my throat and bled to death in your car. At last I thought, I will get your attention. All you said was stupid bitch this time she has gone too far. You walked away and ordered a valet on your car.
Sep 10, 2011 @ 21:10:00
This poem is injected with so many intense and anxious emotions. You know how to get the point across. The ending put a chill down my spine.
Sep 10, 2011 @ 21:23:17
I had all these feelings in my head they just had to come out ! Thanks for your comments appreciated! X
Sep 11, 2011 @ 10:45:42
this one has the ringing of poetry more than prose. might be because of the flowing quality. while reading we get these graphic images of the story going on in our heads. the narrator begging for love to finally taking her life in the car. (unexpected but thoroughly matching climax). the question that finally leave a bitter taste is what exactly to call the narrator. a stalker or one driven to insanity with love. is she a saint or is she evil. the view would depend on the reader. for one i would consider this is not black or white but a gray situation, with many ways to look at and resolve. the “you” should have given the narrator a chance. that one act of difference would have prevented the stream of events from ending in bloodshed.
poetic narration makes this a powerful piece of work. keep up writing.
Sep 11, 2011 @ 10:57:43
The unloved was damned before she started. There was no where for her to go once she had fallen for her dream lover. Sometimes you can give all for nothing and and hang on by your finger nails for years before the vessel in your head explodes. Yes the “You” could of saved the situation, but he did not care enough.
again thank you for your comments I am grateful.X
Sep 12, 2011 @ 15:06:42
a love lost, a love that has died yest one still mourns the passing and will not let it rest. ’til it’s tragic ending. A compelling read Willow, of someone who harboured a dying love and became overcome by its death thralls. xPenx
Sep 12, 2011 @ 15:53:02
Yes it is a painful thing , it happens so often too in relationships where one partner tries so hard to get the other to notice them………….. sad.
Oct 12, 2011 @ 09:33:52
Wow. This was intense. It just kept spiralling and spiralling until the chilling end. You never think somebody can rip you apart and destroy you till there’s nothing left, but it happens. Off to read the next one you linked now. Xx Lily
Oct 12, 2011 @ 09:59:01
Thank you I feel like that some time , I have written four or five poems that have a suicide ending . I feel so lost sometimes and having physical pain to cope with too, well just sometimes………….. I do love your writings though!! XXX
Jan 16, 2012 @ 23:27:32
So very true, you have a talent for realistically portraying such sad circumstances
Andrea xxxxxxx
Jan 17, 2012 @ 07:39:43
Thank you Andrea remember you do too your poem was truly to the bone!