Pebbles sitting in my hand.

Here I stand on the beach my feet buried in the sand, my eyes straining out to sea, tiny pebbles dry and rough sitting in my hand. I used to think I was special , one of a kind but like these pebbles in my palm I am just one of many vessels.

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I can not help but wonder how many waves have washed this beach. How many sun sets and sun rises have graced this lonely place. I throw a pebble out to sea and wander where it may reach.

The breeze is gentle on my face unlike your caress, so many times I looked for you but found only emptiness. Another pebble I release and this one  skims the surface. I’ve never managed that before it brings a  fleeting smile to my face and gives me a new purpose.

There is not another soul on the beach I stand here alone the suns has nearly gone now but I do not want to go home. How many little sea shell has the sea deposited here then over time ground them down and turned them into sand. How many stars are there up in the night sky both question sound too grand.

The waves are lapping at my feet I feel it through the sand  it is dark now as I release another pebble from my hand. The breeze no longer warm has found a sudden chill I feel somehow I should move but I just do not have the will.

My hand is almost empty now like my shrunken heart. I look out to the horizon make one last wish and throw this lonely pebble like a dart. The moon has climbed up in the sky I ought to move , but why. The water washes up my legs I look into my soul and count the dregs there is not much left to save. I walk forward then start to swim out to a watery grave.

Author: willowdot21

Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.

3 thoughts on “Pebbles sitting in my hand.”

  1. It seems the beginning of the poem is contemplating the wonders of life. The number “of sunrises and sunsets” on the beach and where the pebbles will go each time they’re thrown. However, reading it a second time (and taking in concideration the ending) it seems it’s a metaphor for how everyone is a little “pebble” in life and that life throws us in different directions. Also, that if all of us are mere “pebbles” none of us are more special than anyone else; just “one of many vessels”. Although, your poem has a sad theme it made me think in a new perspective and I think it’s important that poetry arouses our minds and makes us think outside of our own ideas. My interpretation could be wrong; I’ve always had an odd way of anaylising poetry. For what it’s worth your poem was very well written and had a great deal of thought put into it.

  2. Thank you poetofmidight for visiting my page and reading my poem. You are spot on with your second opinion of the poem. As you say “poetry is in the eye of the reader” to mash a saying. You have interpreted it as I meant it to be.It is life and the mysteries thereof being pondered by someone who has seen both sides and realizing they are nothing and nothing is left, the only path to take is death. It is a sad poem but sad poetry needs to be written as much as happy. Thank you again.

  3. When you commented on my blog you said you had a hard time finding my poems.
    try typing this website into the search engine: That should take you to my homepage, then when you look to the right side bar should be the word “poetry” and underneath it all the poems I’ve put up so far. I’m going to updating in a few minutes with a new post and poem. I hope you can find everything, thanks for visiting.

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