My husband and the the boys are here again, they have all come so far to see me. I love their faces they ground me, making some sense in this mad house. Last night an elderly lady was brought up to the ward at about 1am she was destraught. I think se had fallen in the snow and lain alone for a while before her family or neighbours found her. She is screaming and crying and wanting to go home.
All the commotion woke me from a fitful sleep even with my headphones on I could hear the distressed woman crying. I am not sure which ward I am on. “Rose, Rose, are you there are you awake. ” Yes and yes and now I have my barings, we wonder who is screaming and why. Is she in pain, is anyone with her. Damn I wish I could get out of this bed and find her I am sure all she needs are a few kind words or just a touch. God knows that is what we all need.
I tell my eldest son to move before the metal runners holding the curtains around my bed collapse on him. He smiles that unsure smile he has worn since I have been in here, my youngest son assures me that there is no way the metal is going to fall .
How does he know this, cannot I see the metal waving , getting looser and looser?
Last night I hardly slept, I listen to a frightened soul as she in fear wept.
“Nurse, I am worried about the lady in the corner she did not eat her dinner and she did not eat her breakfast either. I am concerned does she need some help?” “You don’t need to worry about her she has a secret stash of biscuits and chocolate she won’t go hungry. ” Says the nurse as she sashays out the doorway.
Emma is crying , it is 10pm , and I can tell she is upset. Emma is eighteen, pregnant and unwell, no one seems to know what is wrong with her. “Whats wrong Emma”, I ask, I can’t sleep so I may as well see if I can help. Emma is crying because they want to take blood and Emma is needle phobic. The poor girl was terrified and the two nurses and the technician where getting angry with her. Bless Emma, she was not budging.
“Emma, Emma” I called to her, “what is the problem” Emma was young for her age and she was genuinely frightened. “I ‘ll hold your hand Emma and you will be alright. You can have Mr G for the night as well,” I coaxed her. ( Mr G was my Giraffe )
She agreed, when the nurse and the blood technician returned it was 10.30pm, what time of the night was that to be hassling young vunerable girls for blood. The technician was not best pleased, she did not want Emma sitting in the chair next to my bed, ” Not proper procediure , “I promise I won’t tell” I wispered to Emma who was hugging Mr G. ” She should be in her own bay” The technician complained. Emma whimpered loudly.
“Do you want to go home tonight I asked , because I want to sleep. Please I implored” well she was not best pleased but it was nearly 11pm and I was so tired that it made me brave for Emma. Thankfully sanity won out , the technician took Emma’s blood in my bay, me as ever trapped in my bed Emma huddled in my chair clinging to me and Mr G.