Shattered Tempers

Glass shards flew out  and  there was a deafening  sound

The  world  stopped turning  for a second as  the glass hit the ground.

A myriad of colours and lights reflected in fractals

Hiding  the unreal and distorting  the  natural.

 

The seconds lengthened as it slipped from the fridge door

Then with ear shattering strength it hit the floor!

Its blushing  contents spilt far and wide

Immediately trouble was brewing  ready to collide!

 

The wrath unleashed was unforgiving

It sparked a spite which took on it’s on living.

Voices  raise  and tempers flaring

Words are flying  and they are all uncaring.

 

Why is the question I ask

It was not a life just a wine glass.

Is it worth taking me to task

All this hate and venom over a broken glass.
image
Anger, the beast.

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE: BYE BYE TO CATS HELLO IMOGEN!

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  Hi am so glad you could  make it this week, how are you keeping? I have have had a week of  two halves! Sunday last  was a lovely  day  we had dinner  with friends and  spent  a lovely  afternoon  discussing old times and shared experiences. The  weather  had been lovely  in fact  the last  of a good spell that was followed on the Monday  by rain, rain and more rain!

Monday  was good, although wet  as our eldest lad  came to visit  and stay over  as on the Tuesday  he had his car booked in for an MOT. We all had plenty of laughs  and watched a daft  film together !

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  I would tell you  that our feline  visitors have returned home, their owners  returned on Thursday  and so they up  and  left us high  and dry!!

Watching out the window

Watching out the window

It was a case of “OMG  where are those cats, have  you left that door open again. Quick  that Toffee  will be scrambling out of the toilet window!!” OH! Hang on they have gone home!! Well as much as we have enjoyed having the cats  here it is good to have our  home back to ourselves  windows open to the world  and no crazy opening of doors dashing out  and rushing to shut the door, before a cat escaped! Well Choccy  and Toffee until the next time.

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE: I would  tell you  that I have really been enjoying  the new Imogen Heap  Album  that I bough on 18th August, it is absolutely fabulous  it has  been 3yrs in the making  and worth every second! She  seems to be singing my life! The Album is called Sparks.  here are a couple of her widely varied tracks.

I love every track, each one so different from the next. Do check it out  you will love it . OH! Also good  news on the Imogen Heap Front  she is expecting a baby!!

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  I would tell you  that  today is coffee meeting day, with the girls I used to work with. It is a monthly thing  and great fun to catch up.

I have had toothache  this week  and on Wednesday I had to go to the dentist  and with out any  by your leave he told me that my  tooth was cracked right  through and there was no hope  for it and it had to come out RIGHT THERE AND THEN!!  I was not impressed  but there was no point in arguing  and so out it came. I have been suffering toothache  since  but it is improving!

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  I’d  mention we are also seeing the Newbie  this afternoon! :) xx

Well there is more  but I am short on time this week so that will have to do!

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  I would  tell you how very welcome  you are  and how much I look forward to our weekly get together, and that I do hope  they continue for a while  to come. So  for now  be well and be happy.  :D

If we were having coffee I’d ask  you : would you like another  cuppa, or  a biscuit . I’d  tell you I have really  come to enjoy  these chats  and I’d  love  to hear  what you would  tell me , If we were having Coffee  Original idea  from  http://parttimemonster.wordpress.com/

 

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE GUEST POST :Ambulance Etiquette and University Students

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFE– Aug.31/2014

Ambulance Etiquette and University Students

Welcome to Willow’s weekly coffee and tea garden. My name is Paul and I’m happy to be here once again in the garden tending to your needs for a cuppa, and sweets. I must say, it’s great to see you all here in this relaxing atmosphere surrounded by flowers and butterflies. Have a seat where you choose, at a table in the sun or shade, and I’ll be happy to bring a pot of whatever beverage you prefer – we have a wide range of teas and coffees to satisfy our world-wide readership. We can relax while we discuss the affairs of the week both personal and/or worldwide. How has your week been?

I have to tell you about a really funny thing that happened on the way home from grocery shopping yesterday – we Canadians are just so polite. I was approaching a major intersection at Laurier and King Edward in Ottawa. The traffic light in my direction was red, so I was stopped only a few cars back from the intersection. From the right on Laurier came an ambulance with lights flashing and siren screaming. From the left on Laurier came another ambulance, lights flashing and siren screaming. The ambulance on the right wanted to turn left, across the other ambulance, so he stopped in the intersection to wait for the other ambulance to clear. But the other ambulance did the same and stopped to let the first ambulance turn in front of him. So for a second the two ambulances with sirens screaming and lights flashing, were sitting stopped in the middle of the intersection and each driver was waving for the other to go first. (I can just hear the conversation: “You first”; “No, no, I insist that you go first.” ; “I can’t you’re an ambulance so you have right of way.” ; “Yes but you’re an ambulance too, so you’re supposed to have the right of way.”; “Well, we’re not making much headway, so let’s go for a beer and discuss this.”; “Fine by me.” At this point the first ambulance turned and the second proceeded. Those silly Canadians – far too polite if you ask me.

So are you ready for a refill yet? A biscuit, perhaps, or a piece of cake? Have you seen or had anything silly or funny happen recently? We’d love to hear about it here in the garden.

I live in an area adjacent to a large university here in Ottawa. The students arriving for the new school year are putting on quite a show. I sit out on the steps enjoying the sunshine as I watch concerned parents arrive driving vans, hauling trailers and manoeuvring rental trucks. Beds, dressers, TV’s, luggage, desks, all pour into the rental units on the street. The teens are bouncing with excitement – freedom finally arriving –while the parents frown and give orders and chastise, knowing full well that as soon as their rear bumper disappears from sight, the race will be on. Johnnie and Joanie will be cracking the beer bottles and inviting as many friends as they can find over for a parent free celebration. The parties are spilling out onto the front porches and onto the street. Much joviality is to be had.

 

I truly enjoy watching the enthusiasm and soaking up the energy. It brings back memories of growing and learning. Some of the full time local residents grumble about the noise and the parties but seldom, if ever, complain officially. The friends that are made for life, the freedom of self-control, the wonders of learning that all come at this time in life. I can’t help but be happy for them. There will be hard times and good times, the exhilaration of success and the agony of defeat, and they will grow into responsible, empathetic young women and men – the future of our society. It’s like watching a new flower start to bloom – slowly opening up and showing its beauty to the world. I never tire of watching the young people celebrate and grow, while enjoying life to its fullest. Are the students headed back where you are too? Do you have any stories of students inyour life? Are you one of the concerned parents? Do tell.

Would you like another cuppa? Willow and I are honored that you dropped by the garden today to visit. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself and the conversation and please feel free to look around at Willow’s other posts while you’re here. We look forward to seeing you in the garden again next week.

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  I would  tell you how very welcome  you are  and how much I look forward to our weekly get together, and that I do hope  they continue for a while  to come. So  for now  be well and be happy.  :D

If we were having coffee I’d ask  you : would you like another  cuppa, or  a biscuit . I’d  tell you I have really  come to enjoy  these chats  and I’d  love  to hear  what you would  tell me , If we were having Coffee  Original idea  from  http://parttimemonster.wordpress.com/

 

STOP IT.

 

I have a guilty secret I have written about it here   I think it is called   Dermatillomania .

 

The  more I try to stop the habit the  more it seems to plague  me.

I scratch my  back and  my shoulders until  they bleed

The more I scar myself  the more I have to hide so no one will see.

I just do not know why I have to do this, what ever is the need.

 

I am going on holiday soon  I shall be in the sun

But I shall have to cover up  to hide what I have done.

My husband does not like this,  he does not understand

Why I make such a mess of myself, my back, my arms and now the fingers of my hand.

 

Why do I do this, why can’t I handle life

Sometimes it looks like I have attacked myself  with a knife.

The more I tell myself to stop  the more I seem to do it

My husband tells me I must stop,  as if  there is nothing to it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am not as bad as the picture  but I do now have many scars. Unfortunately I have several new scabs on my  back and  shoulders. I really  do not understand why I do this I am not a teenager  or even a young  person. I feel so ashamed  that I do this  when I am a mature woman with children and grandchildren.

WHY IS LIFE SO HARD. 

 

 

Little Darling

Hello little darling , you have such lovely eyes

You look  very pretty standing  there, not yet worldly wise.

Come my little darling  come and join our dance

See the pretties and the sweets the girls have, as to our tune they prance.

 

Come  and sit with me darling  in my plush new car

I’ll buy you shoes  and dresses Oh!  how lucky you are.

Does  your mother worry if you are late home ?

She is out working ? well stay with us  you don’t want to be home alone.

 

Put this sexy dress on darling and these killer shoes

Just a little more make up  darling  when the men see you, you’ll be the one they choose.

Be nice to them my darling  give them what they crave

Don’t upset me darling  by saying no I’ve given you everything,  that’s  no way to behave.

 

Come on  little darling  give me  your arm

It’s just a little something  to relax you, it will do you no harm.

The men pay me lots of money, I get them young girls  to fuck

And  you so young  and pretty, will do anything I ask, what a piece of luck.

 

What  is  that little  darling, you have had enough

You will do what I tell you to. It hurts? Well tough.

Now don’t get awkward  darling you’ll make me knock you about

A slap here, a punch there and a well placed kick, will sort you out no doubt.

 

You want some more of the needle  to get you through the night

Well your lucky I am so good to you , get on your knees and beg, right!

Now lets see little darling  you are looking rather jaded

I won’t give you any needle, the punter don’t want you as your charms are faded.

 

There now little darling  can sleep all you want in this alley

Your no good for me  but the local lads are pally.

Such a shame you made me lots of money

But  you are past your sell by date  so it’s goodbye to you my honey!

 

Hello little darling , you have such lovely eyes

You look  very pretty standing  there, not yet worldly wise.

Come my little darling  come and join our dance

See the pretties and the sweets the girls have, as to our tune they prance.

 

The Death. The Cause and the Effect.

I have  to apologise I have not posted  anything  for  four days and in truth it has  taken  me as long  to catch on  everyone’s comments  and posts. I have  been distracted  by  toothache  culminating in a visit to the dentist  yesterday  and  with no  flush  or  flourish    my tooth  being  removed! That I can tell you was a bit  of  a shock  and  though painless  at  the  time  due to brilliant  anaesthetics it has  been very painful since.

Sorry I just cannot  write.  So here is a story I wrote in 2011.

THE DEATH

It was quiet and dark and the sun through the window was warming him just enough to keep him alert now his fight had begun.

The bench was hard but he could  take that, it was the pain in his side and chest which filled his being, everything else was  flat.

Fear gripped his mind, he was so cold inside yet a sweat was rippling down his back.His sight was blurred was he going blind.

Slowly a long hidden memory came to the fore. His mother had taught him it long before he had changed. “Gentle Jesus meek and mild look upon me a little child”

OH! Jesus if you are there help me now, I did not need you then but I do now. Jesus this pain is f###ing killing me, help me help me please. Slowly he slipped forward onto the  floor a darkness washed over him and he knew no more.
~~~~~~~~~~~

Where are you going son. No,  out,  will not do. Listen to me boy I am asking you. Why must you run with that pack it seems to me now there  is no coming  back. What has happened to you, you were  such a good boy at school I had hopes  that you’d  go far but your just like your brother playing the fool.
No your not wicked but your not a fool and I am telling you this, in my book you’re not cool.

What are you doing with that? Give it me back , don’t you threaten me son I’ll give you a smack. OH! Please will you listen to me don’t take that knife it will not set you free from the boredom in your life. It will not get you a job, it won’t make you a man what has happened to you and your world changing plan? You had vision and hunger for work a decent and pleasant boy not as you are now , just a jerk.
~~~~~~

Clearing up quietly  the priest approached the the last row when something on the floor that caught the suns last glow. Red and sticky he knew what it was  but he prayed to his God that it would not be true. The boy lying  his arms out  wide blood flowing from his side. A thought crossed his mind but he dismissed immediately. He looked like Jesus did, you see. Arms out wide , blood from his side a cut round his forehead dripping blood in his eyes.

He took out his mobile and took a deep breath as he dialled , ambulance , police  he begged his mind running wild. The operator was telling him what to do,  “Keep him warm and stem the blood is what I want you to do.” He ripped off his cassock and swaddle the lad he then notice blood on his jeans ( the best ones he had) He cradled the boy and prayed in his ear  “keep trying to stay ask now, Jesus will hear.”

It was half an hour until anyone arrived the paramedic crew gently moved the priest to one side. It was too late the boy was gone, then with their radios crackling loud, the police taped the area off,with people from everywhere arriving, such a crowed.

Standing back  and looking around the priest said a prayer with out making a sound. “Dear God take the soul of this boy who died here today and give him some peace,  and if you have time help me find words to sooth his family, at least ” Then sat down exhausted, he was just a man even though he was called priest.

A woman on her way home from work regretting an argument at the start of the day was wondering how to fix things and what she could say. She always said never give up, never leave a good word unsaid.  Never leave things, sort them before you go to bed.  Passing the church she saw her youngest boys friends , he wasn’t  there perhaps they could make amends.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE CAUSE

He awoke with a jump. It was his brother rolling in drunk! Damn only 4am  please don’t go over what’s to happen again. I know I must do this. I must prove myself.

It was all too easy a year a go when his best friend introduced him to the boys “you need to know” It had been simple things at first making old ladies jump, stealing traffic cones all laughing fit to burst.

When he was really trusted, got himself a name.Things became more serious it suddenly was  a whole new game. They met the older boys, the ones with  big fast cars. They all wore hoodies, bling and they all had facial scars.

It was money and messages that he had to run he was fit and had a bike.Now that is how easily it had begun. He often skipped school though not always willingly. There really was not any choice, what the big boys said, had to be.

His teachers all asked him why his work had slipped away he had a brilliant future and he had thrown it all away. He was a little worried but he shrugged his shoulders and wondered off, his teachers  called him back but his friends told them to f### off.

Mum, she was desperate working on her own doing all she could to keep the house,the boys and make for them a home. The oldest she had lost him he had gone to drugs. She had tried so hard but he just robbed her blind and made  her look a mug.The young one she had dreams for she had prayed to the Lord each day but now he was on the wrong track and now he was slipping the same way.

He knew he had become a waster, he knew that he was bad . It was the only way to be accepted and safe but the pain in Mum’s eyes made him feel bad. So he just avoided contact and hardened to her pleas. He was knocked back the other day when she begged him to stay home down on her knees.

He tried to ask his brother who ran with an older crew but he was useless as he was trapped there too. What chance was there, his brother asked, what was there for them to do  there was no work or opportunities  running with lads was at least something to do. It was all about status  and how hard you are , what clothes you wore , what trainers and did you have a scar.
~~~~~~~~

His brother had one, his was on his face, from a fight with a rival gang. Okay it hurt , six days in hospital 17 stitches but he was now a big man?? Today was his chance to join the glorious crew. To take part in the big ruck was all he had to do.

Two weeks he had known about the fight , where and exactly when. It was on his mind both day and night . His thoughts were full of dread , through his blood ran pure fear  it was nearly six now, the day was finally here.

Later in the kitchen when he was taking the knife , his mother caught him and shouted at him. He raised his hand to her for the first and last time in his life. Luckily she was small so he pushed to one side he crashed through the door and out the gate . His mother sat on the floor and cried.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Later he met the guys when mum had gone to work , they knew a squat they could use to complete their plan. By 4o’clock they were jumpy they were ready to a man.They left the squat and through the railings ran. Jumping , punching the air and making feral calls they had it now they all knew the plan, they had all the balls.

He wished he’d picked a smaller knife this one was too large . As he was changing it’s position. Into him  a couple of the lads all barged. At once he felt a sharp and stinging pain as he fell to the floor, it felt worse again. His side felt wet and his forehead was cut where he had scraped along the floor..

By Banksy

What’s wrong man, stop messing  we haven’t got the time it’s 5 oclock now hear those church bells chime. Oh! hey you’re hurt man what did you do. You stupid f### you stabbed yourself. We have to leave you here, no good to have a burden on the crew.

His best friend helped him in to the church and sat him at the back , hold on, he said, laters. then ran off to join the pack.

So he alone now, life ebbing from his side thought of mum, school his brother and he cried. He asked the lord for comfort but comfort did not come. He prayed a childhood prayer from deep inside his mind. The priest found him,and he was very kind. He wrapped his chest and held him and asked him not to go . He tried to but he couldn’t stay he felt too tired too low.

He heard the priests’ desperate call as he slipped away forget the ambulance he though and just pray for me today. The priest felt him go, but he would not loose his grip he felt he needed to guide this lost boy, some mothers pride and joy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE EFFECT

Getting off the bus and heading for home, she was tired her feet ached but she was determined not to moan. This was important , it had to be done she needed to put her whole being into saving her youngest son!

Pushing the front door shut behind her putting the bags down on the kitchen floor she looked into the living room but there was no one there. No television no shoot’em’up games  standing in the hallway she called out both boys names.

OH! well, she put the kettle on and maybe she’d ring around she had both their mobile numbers but they did not always want to be found. The doorbell rings , damn she had only just sat down she, walking toward the door  the phone begins to sing.

There it is the sight every mother dreads , a policeman and a policewoman , OH! god she thinks someone must be dead.
~~~~~~~~~

The hospital was noisy  but she didn’t hear a sound her lungs were filling up as she were about to drown. She had been waiting for an age now, would no one take her in. She was feeling really sick now and and felt like things were crawling on her skin.

It was so cold in there and he only had a sheet on . God he looked so pale but she supposed that was what you would look like when all your blood was gone.

Lost Boys

She woke up with the headache she had had since that day the shock of the police visit and what they had to say. She she knew she had to get up she knew she must  today, it was the funeral and that would not go away.

Things had been different he elder boy had staid home he seemed to want to help his mother and not leave her on her own. She dare not hope he had changed but she was glad that he was there. She slowly put her face on and then she brushed her hair.

His friends were at the church like they had been that day , he was not not with them. Would this pain ever go away. The priest seemed glad to see her and he offer his support, she felt close to this  man who was with her boy when for his life he fought.
~~~~~~~~~

His favourite track finished and the last notes drifted away she stood up and looked at everyone and said she had something to say.

She knew that there was no work and that there was not much hope but joining gangs and using guns and knives was not the way to cope. Please listen she pleaded you are slipping away too many lives are wasted too many die this way. Something must be done and it must be soon  we are loosing a generation it might be two if something is not done soon. How many more mothers have to suffer like I have  we really need to sort this out……… her voice trailed off to silence as she repeated, how many more mothers like me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Decent into hate

The fear rises from the pit of  my stomach pushing up through the bile

Depositing  itself  on my tongue. Burning searing  all the while

The anger comes from nowhere, no rhyme or reason for his hate

All at once the shouting starts, warning signs come too late .

 

Screaming  at each other words are razor sharp insults flying

They hurt as much as blows  but I’ll be damned if I’ll let him see me crying!

Hate burning into our hearts and souls. You are dragging me slowly over  the coals

Where does this angst come from why do we keep fighting  what evil sets  the goals.

 

When did we drive our love to this hate

When did life sour  the food on our plate

It all started out so fine we were shining stars

Now we are muddied  and blooded and covered in scars.

 

The fear rises from the pit of  my stomach pushing up through the bile

Depositing  itself  on my tongue. Burning searing  all the while

The anger comes from nowhere, no rhyme or reason for his hate

All at once the shouting starts, warning signs come too late .

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